Many of us put up with all kinds of bad behaviour from our loved ones from time to time – and let’s face it, there are times when we’re not that well behaved ourselves. This can be a matter of us just being ourselves (after all, no one’s perfect…). However, sometimes when we’ve been putting up with a pattern of behaviour for a long time, it can be hard to tell what’s going on.

Use this quiz to help you figure out whether what you’re experiencing is healthy.

1 Does the person you’re in a relationship with check up on you and want to know where you are at all times?
A. Often
B. Sometimes
C. Rarely
D. Never

2 Is he/she jealous, and do they accuse you of going off with others?
C. Rarely
B. Sometimes
A. Often
D. Never

3 Does he/she tell you that you are ugly, stupid, lazy or other things that make you feel rubbish about yourself?
D. Never
B. Sometimes
C. Rarely
A. Often

4 Does he/she call you obscene names?
A. Often
B. Sometimes
C. Rarely
D. Never

5 Does he/she tell you that no-one else could ever love you?
B. Sometimes
D. Never
C. Rarely
A. Often

‘Being in a relationship that’s not safe is a daunting and frightening experience.’

6 Does he/she make fun of you in front of other people?
A. Often
D. Never
B. Sometimes
C. Rarely

7 Does he/she try to stop you seeing your friends?
C. Rarely
A. Often
D. Sometimes
B. Never

8 Does he/she take your money or make you spend it on them?
D. Never
B. Sometimes
C. Rarely
A. Often

9 Does he/she tell you you’re not good enough to get a job, or go to college?
A. Often
D. Never
C. Rarely
B. Sometimes

10 Does he/she push you, punch you, kick you, pull your hair or prevent you leaving the room?
A. Often
B. Sometimes
C. Rarely
D. Never

What your answers reveal:

All Ds – You seem to be in a healthy relationship. There is equality and trust between you and your partner.

Mostly As – This sounds like a very unhealthy relationship. Please call us if you want to talk about it.

Combination of letters – If you are getting a mixture of the others, you may want to discuss your relationship, especially if at times you are feeling like it’s not quite right or makes you feel sad or depressed.